Let’s wrap this one up, shall we? …Ben?
Watch out Ben, it’s BUZZSAW (Gus Rethwisch)! Your next challenger!!!
Fireball (Jim Brown) looks on confidently with our Yuppie Yeller going ape-shit in the background.
BUZZ me once, shame on you.
BUZZ me twice, shame on me.
They’re LOVIN’ it!
Now, it’s hard to distinguish BUZZSAW’s attack face from his death face…
…but you’ll know for sure when they cut to instant mourning and dissatisfaction from FIREBALL and the yuppies. Check out Ventura in the back! Captain FREEDOM, show us that chin!
During the chaos of dispatching baddies, we loose Laughlin (Yaphett Koto).
Arnie mourns quietly in blue…
…then goes hog wild.
Captain FREEDOM looks on with a smirk, thinking he’s got Ben and the gang in despair. Surely their next line of defense will be enough to stop them.
(Briefly) Enter DYNAMO (the late Erland van Lidth)!
Yeah, he’s done. Ben made short work of his short circuits. The network has instant regret for associating with him as a fellow combatant.
These guys are still going crazy. Someone just got axe murdered? I can barely contain myself!
Next, it’s old man FIREBALL’s turn to get up and Danny Glover his way through the fight. Meanwhile, Captain FREEDOM gets jealous of old man FIREBALL’s fan reaction.
Captain pre-gaming with some roids.
Captain suiting up with a depressing reminder of his former abilities.
Arnold dispatches old man FIREBALL with a single line: “Need a light?” to which FIREBALL replies “I’m too old for this shit.”
“Sven: I’ve got to score some steroids.”
Wow! Looks like Captain really wasn’t too rusty after all. Watch out Ben!
State of the art.
Wait, what does that say?
Guys, you got his name wrong. It’s Ben, not Matte.
Could this be the end!? Ben, LOOK OUT!!!
NOOO… wait, what?
Wait a minute! You sneaky bastards, you killed a stunt double!
“Hurry up and run the credits!” Killian says laughing. And for good reason, click through to see them full size. Someone was definitely mailing it in on those… PAINT YOUR FACE.
Killian, smug as ever…
Wait, what’s this? Two can play at this game Killian. Ben and the gang hijacked your satellite wildfeed!
Oh snap, guess who’s still alive baby! That gun is looking ultra close to your chest Ben!
You’d better believe it!
“I told Killian I’d be back. I wouldn’t want to be a liar.”
“Sorry Killian, No Deal!” Ben says, after strapping Killian into the super slide that gave everyone ugly g-force face earlier. He rockets off into a billboard and Ben walks off with the girl. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
Well, there you have it folks. Another glimpse into the dystopian future with Arnie as your guide. We’ll be back with more. Please Stand By.
December 18, 2011
| posted by Matt
| No Comments
, Arnold Schwarzenegger
, Ben Richards
, danny glovering
, Erland van Lidth
, Fist Pump
, Gus Resthwisch
, Jesse Ventura
, Jim Brown
, Maria Alonso
, phillip k. dick
, Richard Dawson
, Running Man
, Super Fist Pumps
, Yaphet Kotto
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